I grew up thinking that “Why can’t we all just get along?” “Why can’t everyone just be nice?” I was brought up to be kind, loving, and obedient. I was a shy, insecure, and little girl, and all I wanted was to be loved, wanted, and needed. I was nice to people–so some thought that I was weak.
My psycho Ex, thought that he could lie to me, use me, and abuse me; and that I would just lay down and take it. He didn’t realize that I had a strong faith in my God, and that I had already learned the hard way– that some people with “street-thinking” believed that anyone who was nice and kind–were weak and could be taken advantage of.
I was blessed with a strong support system–my God, my family, my friends, my therapist, my sponsors, and my “program for living”.
No one is worth losing your self-esteem, your serenity, or your sobriety over!!
My number one priority since 1987, has always been God and keeping my Spirituality. I love the saying–“I don’t have to give up me, to be loved by you.”
As a child I never thought that I was cute or adorable. Mother told me that I was beautiful, but I did not think that I was adorable.
When I was fifteen my parents divorced, my step mother ended up refusing to give me any of our pictures of our family, instead she left all my families pictures in a cardboard box and shoved it into a shed, and allowed the roaches and rats to destroy them. the only reason that I have one or two pictures of me was because I stole them, I felt guilty at first but I am so glad that I did it. If I had not, I would not have the two that I have.
Today when I look at the picture from the First grade at the age of 6, the only picture that I have from that age, I cherish it. It was so sad that I never saw the sweet, kind, sensitive little girl that I was back then. Now, I look at it and I think, “Wow, I was adorable!”